Howdy! Yes, that’s how rusty I’ve become since you last heard from me. It’s been a very quiet time. Literally quiet. Especially inside my head. It was a time which I will henceforth think of as the days of the caged eagle.
That majestic bird, created to fly high above the earth, patrolling the high skies with sharp eyes and the surety of inborn ability, always fills me with awe and wonder. Can you imagine such a creature caged? Brought low and confined within boundaries? Constrained in such a way that it can’t fly anymore, whether he wants to or not?
You get the picture, generally. That’s how the period between my last post and today has been like. Everyday, I’ve been waking up with the conviction that my true calling lies in writing, and with the resolution that the day won’t end before I write something different from class notes. Everyday, as well, ends with the realisation that it has all been in vain. That I have managed nothing of my morning resolution.
Every sentence I begin to write dissatisfies me before I finish, and I delete it before it takes full shape. It’s a game I’ve played over and over again. It’s frustratingly frustrating. And now I’m tired. So, to end my despicable literary malaise, I have worked on a plan. Short articles, around the size of this, once a week, on topics as widely varied as the number of days I’ve been in the block.
And this is the first one. At least you’ve now read several sentences from me. All of them, including this one, just make me lament my prison. Because I desire to just blot them out. But that will not be the case. Because I know that the route to my recovery lies within these sentences, and that for me to end this struggle, it is prudent that I begin writing again. Whatever comes from my hands, I’ll let it exist. Even if it makes me despise myself from the depths of my heart, I’ll let it live. And then, I hope, little by little, my writing will experience a rebirth.
I do not guarantee that this experiment will work. After all, it is just that, an experiment. But I hope it will. Until next time therefore, I cannot promise my readers anything. Anything, that is, except my effort to improve each day.
Until next time then.
Feature image: erikhatch.org.
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